“Change is necessary,” says psychologist, Collett Smart. “It’s what we all go through, whether it’s moving from adolescence, to middle age, to old age, to moving jobs, we’re all going to go through it.”
The key to dealing with change, says Collett, is to learn and implement healthy ways to cope with it.
In this Helping Hands panel discussion, Collett is joined by youth worker, Nathan Brewer; and National Grandparent Movement founder, Ian Barnett, to discuss how we can be best equipped to deal with change.
Being confronted with change, Ian says, can make us long for stability and for things that feel familiar and safe. Now in his 60s, Ian candidly answers from the wisdom of his life experience when asked why he thinks we struggle with change.
“Depending on your stage of life, on your experience, sometimes it is easier to adapt, other times you just don’t want to change … If there hasn’t been a good process to go through change – clear explanation and communication – it’s always going to be hard and you’re going to face a reaction to it.”
That reaction, Collett says, often includes an experience of stress, because even good change – change that we invite willingly into our lives – brings unpredictability.
The stress we experience isn’t limited to big life changes, Collett adds. She says that daily transitions can be difficult to manage as well.
Dealing with change “is really about stepping back, acknowledging first that change is hard, and allowing yourself to feel the feelings in your body,” Collett says. The key to equipping ourselves for change is to tackle our challenges in small steps, to remember what’s helped us in the past and employ strategies that we know work.
Young people, Nathan says, are in the process of learning to contain their emotions. Their ability to deal with change can range from laid back and easy going to reacting irrationally and “blowing their stack”.
For parents of teens who are struggling to deal with change, Nathan urges the importance of trying to remember what life was like for them as a teen.
“Rather than writing off all teenagers as being unnecessary troublemakers, put yourself in their shoes. Try and remember what you were like at the same age. It’s (about having) sympathy, about being quick to listen, being slow to get angry.”
There may be consequences to face for choices we’ve made when we’ve dealt badly with change, Collett concludes, but we are all able to learn healthy strategies for dealing with change.
“Starting to just be aware of your body, being aware of where you are, focusing on your breathing … making sure your body understands that your body is safe … There’s a lot of techniques we can use to help our bodies process when we’re going through change.”
See the DEALING WITH CHANGE discussion and the full catalogue of Helping Hands panels at helpinghands.tv. Catch up on full episodes of Helping Hands on 9NOW.
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* Our panellists, Collett Smart, Nathan Brewer and Ian Barnett, and the Helping Hands producers are available for interview on radio, TV and online to discuss this topic. Get in touch at helpinghands.tv/contact/
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