In a Helping Hands panel discussion about the importance of self-care, our panelists agree that self-care is vital for both you, and for those around you.
RUOK? founding board member Graeme Cowan, psychologist Collett Smart, and disability-and-parenting advocate Hannah Gair, liken self-care to “putting on our own oxygen mask first” so that we can support others too. Self-care involves many components including physical, mental, relational, spiritual, and career health.
Many of us hear the words ‘self-care’, and think, I don’t need that. Think again!
On Helping Hands, RUOK? founding board member and team resilience speaker Graeme Cowan, psychologist Collett Smart, and podcaster Hannah Gair explain that self-care is vital, not only for your own wellbeing, but also to the benefit of those around you.
Self-care: It’s Non-Negotiable
Graeme says he learnt the hard way — through a five-year depression — that “self-care isn’t selfish”. Instead, it’s essential if you want to be supportive to friends, family or colleagues.
“Mood is contagious,” he says. “It flows on to other people. Looking after ourselves allows us to contribute … by being in the right mood state, but also [by being] in the right spirit, of wanting to assist and connect with people.”
Hannah Gair, host of the StrongHERside podcast, has a son with Fragile X Syndrome, and champions the welfare of parents caring for children with additional needs. She believes self-care is critical to maintaining the mental energy needed when parenting children with additional needs.
“When my son got really sick, we spent a lot of time in hospital, and I could feel my mental health slipping,” explains Hannah. “So, I decided to start running. Sometimes I didn't want to do it, but I think it's the art of discipline [that helps us] keep our cup very full.”
Collett Smart puts it like this: “Put on your own ‘oxygen mask’ first! Because if you can't breathe and you can't function, you cannot be helping those you love.”
The ‘How-to’ of Self-care
Collett references a self-care model created by the Menzies Institute for Indigenous Australians, that likens mental health to a tree. We must look after the tree’s roots: our physical, psychological, and social health; as well as our spiritual health (through mindfulness, prayer, or connecting to country).
The model Graeme uses is summed up in the letters ‘VIP’: ‘Vitality’ — exercise, sleep, nutrition; ‘Intimacy’ — supportive relationships; and ‘Prosperity’ – having a career, occupation or purpose. All are crucial ingredients.
Graeme says being aware of the early warning signs of worsening mental health — like disturbed sleep, or anxiety — and acting to address them quickly is important.
“When I suddenly have my sleep affected, I make sure to pull back, and do things to boost my own wellbeing” he says. “We have to take responsibility for that.”
If you find it hard to make self-care commitments, Graeme suggests booking them in the diary, with a clear time and location, and Collett encourages us to try a routine that allows for flexibility as well.
“Sometimes your routine goes out of the window,” she said. “Be kind to yourself and get back into your routine where you left off last time.”
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