“In terms of community and finding your people, it’s really important. When you can identify with other people, you feel seen, you feel heard, you feel validated … They want to lean into your world and then you just journey life together.”” explains Hannah Gair, founder of the StrongHERside podcast.
For this Helping Hands panel discussion, Hannah is joined by psychologist, Collett Smart, and Team Resilience speaker and author, Graeme Cowan, to talk about different ways to show we care.
Hannah’s StrongHERside podcast is a resource for women navigating the complexities of caring for a child living with disability on their motherhood journey. Caring for a child with disability herself, Hannah understands the life-changing difficulties mothers in her situation can face, while also being anchored to a deep conviction that their child’s wellbeing is paramount.
“For Sunny,” Hannah says, “it (motherhood) is an advocacy role, and it’s ensuring I’ve got provisions in place so that he can live his best life.”
However, those provisions don’t only apply to what’s best for Sunny. Hannah has learned the importance of being proactive about her own wellbeing too. If her wellbeing, or any parent’s wellbeing suffers, so does their capacity to care for their child.
In both our personal and professional lives, says Graeme, good relationships are the key to what he calls our wellbeing scaffolding. Quoting the Harvard Adult Development Study on wellbeing, Graeme explains that after nearly one hundred years of research, the study shows that our wellbeing is shaped largely by one factor – good relationships with others.
“There is one overwhelming finding – that is, the best way to have a good life, a long life, a stress-free life, is to have caring and supportive relationships around us.”
For the sake of his own wellbeing, and that of others, Graeme therefore chooses to put this finding into practice each day by being intentional about strengthening the relationships he has in his life.
“Every morning, I ask myself, ‘What good can I do today?’ When I think about the people I’m going to be in contact with, I think, Well, how can I contribute to them, to help them feel better about themselves?”
No matter what care looks like for each of us, Collett adds that being intentional in showing we care, in fostering relationships and in building community, is something we should always keep in mind and be prepared to act on.
“Being the community for other people, thinking about, How can I be the community? … Community is not going to knock on your door … Sometimes you have to be the community for other people … Look for ways that you could possibly volunteer to start (a community group) and show up with some cake and coffee.”
Be patient, Collett encourages. Building relationships and community takes time but choosing to invest yourself in it, and showing you care simply by turning up, will see the ripple effect of improving your wellbeing and the wellbeing of others through real and lasting connection.
See the DIFFERENT WAYS TO SHOW WE CARE discussion and the full catalogue of Helping Hands panels at helpinghands.tv. Catch up on full episodes of Helping Hands on 9NOW.
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* Our panellists, Hannah Gair, Graeme Cowan and Collett Smart, and the Helping Hands producers are available for interview on radio, TV and online to discuss this topic. Get in touch at helpinghands.tv/contact/
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