“I’ve interviewed the CEOs of Bunnings, ANZ and Microsoft … they really are humble people. And I think that humility allows other people to copy that approach, but also it’s inclusive,” explains mental health speaker and advocate, Graeme Cowan.
Graeme is speaking about his observations while speaking with successful CEOs for his podcast, The Caring CEO. He is joined in this Helping Hands panel discussion by psychologist, Collett Smart; and CEO of Charitabl., Mike Gore, to discuss what it looks like to respect authority figures and be respectful in a role of authority at home, in social settings and in the workplace.
What was once a role of command and control in the workplace, Graeme explains, has transformed into a responsibility to champion a culture of care and a culture of high performance. The result, says Graeme, has been a hugely positive shift for all involved.
“They’re not trying to dominate a discussion … The very very best ones (CEOs) are trying to identify the best idea in the room. And that can only come from multiple people working together, not a command and control.”
When people feel heard, Graeme adds, it fosters an environment of psychological safety. Employees are happier, and as a result, are more likely to take ownership over their responsibilities and to reflect that same behaviour towards their superiors and co-workers.
The same parameters of safety in relation to authority should also apply, says Mike, to the social situations in which we find ourselves. With vulnerability, he explains that this has sadly not always been his experience.
Adopted as a six-month old, Mike explains that he “grew up as a brown kid in a white family.” He has dealt with racial abuse all his life, including from figures of authority, and as recently as just a few months ago.
Yet, despite the lack of respect he’s been shown, at times, by society’s authority figures, Mike carries the strong conviction to teach his two teenage daughters that all people deserve to be treated with respect, even when it’s not reciprocated.
“I think that’s one of the real wrestles … It requires courage, conviction, character (to show respect in all situations) because sometimes you need to see above the issue, particularly when you’re leading others, about how to respect authority in social or corporate settings.”
To hold a position of authority, Mike concludes, shouldn’t necessarily be equated with the expectation of holding control of a person or situation, and Collett agrees.
In today’s family households, Collett says, healthy relationships depend on the development of an environment in which children continually learn to engage respectfully with their parents over matters that are important to them.
While holding respectful authority over your children, rules still exist, but they are in place for the sake of a child’s safety, not their punishment. And when those boundaries of authority inevitably need to shift, change is made easier because the child knows their feelings are valued and their voice will be heard.
“In the home, your children learn what it looks like to have healthy disagreements without somebody flying off the handle or demanding that their way is met … as they get older that is how they deal with other people – they learn to listen and they learn to respond respectfully and they learn to disagree respectfully.”
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